I have been considering posting my actual photo on my blog, Facebook page, and the Twitter... radical, I know. I have had these accounts for so long, and gotten by without my mug, that by now I actually feel like my followers/friends/tweethearts wouldn't know who it was with some Photo of me up there!
I kind of like the image of a sunflower, the imagery.
The sunflower is tall, and rises above almost everything around it, it can see both near and far. The sunflower is a useful flower (grown for oil, food, dye and fuel) rather than a showy beauty. The sunflower is usually only around for one season and they turn their heads to follow the sun, which to me represents focus and the limited time we have here. Like those plentiful seeds at the center of the flower I too am full of varied and useful tidbits just waiting to be shared. Sometimes even throughout the day, my passions change - like the sunflower turns from one horizon to the other. The sunflower is rather plain, with simple colors and no special scent, yet they get the job done and provide for those around them in the time they are allotted. I think it is actually a great representation of me, or at least, of who I hope I am.
But then someone said "Should I look for a big walking sunflower?" What do you say to that? (I say I need a big sunflower hat, but that's just me) I got to thinking about WHY I don't have any pictures of myself posted, and here are some thoughts:
I have never felt pretty. As the older sister of the Pretty Daughter, I guess I grew up used to being the not-pretty one. I was always the smart one (until the sister actually beat me at that too, darn amazing sister). I had freckles. I didn't know anyone who had freckles as plentiful as I did until high school. I had bad teeth. No really - monster teeth. I used to get told that I was totally "Pretty in Pink" Molly Ringwold... and I was, if we were looking at teeth. My Mona Lisa smile was commented on in the yearbook. I finally got braces, and jaw surgery, as I turned 19. Best awful experience ever! Changed my smile, made me feel prettier, but still not Pretty.
It could be because I do the majority of my social media dabbling through my wonderfully "smart" phone. The one that doesn't show any pictures, because it gets all messages through text. Let me tell you, its a great phone, but "Smart" is stretching it. It calls, and texts, and takes and sends photos... but when you're trying to go online, its like pulling teeth. (haha, no really) I just don't do it. all my Twitter and Facebook friends, I know you as
Your Name In Ariel Type. Your latest photos and profile pics I have to wait to view in the after hours. And even then, its hard for me to connect the names to the faces. But they are nice faces! I know I am in the minority here with the whole "no pictures" thing.
And I know how people can judge based on looks.
I laugh sometimes at that because I judge people on actions and words, which are sometimes just as false as looks, but not being looked at often one does become a great observer. And I remember looks. I have the worst time remembering peoples names, names in general actually. (My children did not grow up calling Blockbuster "The Movie Store", or Target "The Flag Store" because I was trying to be cute) Odd, because I do have a great memory for situations and appearances and feelings. Definitely more of a visual memory. And I love seeing peoples faces, I love those little blog and avatar photos, and I love looking thru my friends profile pictures. I love portraits. Sometimes its hard to tell from photos, but you can really see a lot in a persons face and the many faces they show the world. Not the whole picture, but certainly an interesting one. Combine the look with the words, and you can develop a sense of their presentation to the world. So where is the look part of my presentation? Its there, in the sunflower.
Maybe that's what it boils down to, I can control the reaction to the look with that sunflower image.Well, I feel that I can at least limit the judgement. I can't control the reaction if I post some photo of me. It could be interpreted 10,000 ways to Sunday without ever being what I intended. I can come up with many reasons Not to share a photo. Most of them are my own insecurities, but then I read about "good interactions through social media". Maybe its not good "business" (insert laugh track here, its not all about business for me in case you hadn't noticed), maybe its too impersonal, maybe you Need to see a picture of me to feel that you really know me...
You don't.
I am as plain and simple as that sunflower.
And all in all, that makes me feel pretty.
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